I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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