lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
