Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
