that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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