Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
what day is it and did you see me today?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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