Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
