I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
