You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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