My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
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