Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
