I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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