I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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