Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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