Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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