Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
