I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
This is my gift to your gina
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
