all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
