So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Are we still banned from the library?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
