We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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