It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
