omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
