Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
MIDGETS
????
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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