As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
