I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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