First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
