Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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