Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
