I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.