It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.