Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?