he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was totally pumped and so was my beard