I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
