is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
