My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
