God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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