Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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