GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
