Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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