Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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