So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
