omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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