There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
