i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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