Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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