Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
