ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
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just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
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Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.