Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you had me at cake vodka
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ