I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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