I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
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