He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
