Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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