I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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