I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
