I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have aggressive nipples.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
