i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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