How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.