We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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