I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.