SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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