I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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