yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
