I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
