My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
