Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
