Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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