the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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