you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
