Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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