you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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