Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
