Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
