God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
