i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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