I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
