mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
