i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
