we're blogging at a bar
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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